Embracing the Change
I think there's one area of life we can all settle in agreement: we all feel the effects of the miles we put on.
Through each rotation of the earth and every subsequent birthday, we see, feel, or at times double-take the evidence time marks on us both physically and mentally.
As the adage "older and wiser," intends to reassure us, it doesn't erase the hard truths many of us face as we watch our bodies (and lives) change.
I don't know the journey you've been on, but I can say from where I am, it's neither great nor terrible, but it's something. And if I can be candid with you, I don’t recognize myself these days.
It seems like somewhere amongst the hustle of life; I’ve changed. Sometimes subtly, other times with a harsh abruptness when I see, feel or hear the evolution of who I am now.
The person I was has morphed as I step closer to 40. It's not the number or the age itself that catches my attention. I see lines, creases, bumps, and spots that are unfamiliar. I feel rolls, button my pants differently, and notice my body carries me in a new way.
Experience tells me, we don’t make our way through life unscathed. We acquire a callousness that shows evidence of the journey we’ve endured.
Although the last few years threw curveballs, unexpected back-to-back surgeries, toxic relationships, hardship, heartache, the loss of friends, and forced changes, it also accompanied growth.
So today, when I look down and don’t recognize what I see - or when I look in the mirror and struggle to accept ‘her’ - I cling to a gentle reminder.
I’m not her anymore.
This new version of me holds endless potential for growth.
For an abundance mentality.
For embracing forgiveness.
For releasing shame or regret or stigma or fear.
For owning the roughness that’s calloused me over time.
For letting it go.
I get to nourish my soul, my life, my body, my family, my friends, and my community in a new way.
I’ll wear the scars, bumps, and imperfects as badges of honor in knowing I’ve earned them. I’ll accept buying a different size, understanding I’m not the girl I was at 25. And I’ll disengage the negative self-talk that comes as a byproduct of change.
This upgraded version of me is yet to be determined - and I’m here for that.
Though over time, the lines may deepen, and my hair may shimmer with strands of well-earned platinum, I'll embrace the new version of myself time uncovers. Maybe this is, in a way, the evidence of the "older and wiser" theory unfolding.